droqen

droqen
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i have been trying to figure out a new spread and this feels like a good/powerful one for focusing things, will report if i make more draws of this spread?

DESIRE - what do i want to pursue
FEAR - what do i want to avoid (what's getting in my way internally?)
REACTION - what do i feel immediately
RESPONSE - what do i do with it
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droqen

droqen
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moon, five of wands, seven of swords, seven of cups

i want to follow my intuition through the darkness.
my fear is getting nowhere, struggling and ultimately finding myself in the same place
it feels like i'm getting away with something i shouldn't: i'm sneaking around, it's cunning, it's not what i should be allowed to do. is this a good feeling? no, not really.

it took me a while to figure out the last card. reaction: seven of cups. my response has been indecision. in a very real way i'm recreating that fear of getting nowhere by not choosing a real path; this comes of my seven overlapping paths. i can't get anywhere while i choose to walk every path presented.

great reading.
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droqen

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to make sense of jlater :
.five of swords (bang on, imo)
.knight of coins (?)
.four of coins
.ten of wands
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droqen

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three of cups / two of cups
ten of wands -> eight of wands

WEIRD
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droqen

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I wrote a little short story (rough) (pieces of it,perhaps), and I drew a card to ask, who should I show it to first? DEATH is S ofc. but I figured S won't be able to receive it until I edit it... i'm thinking of keeping it to myself for editing purposes, first. What's my desire/fear reading?

desire - da queen of coins
i think im hoping S will be able to help me bring my resources to bear,, i'm not hoping for wands (inspiration) or cups (emotional support/resonance/clarity) though I do think i'll get that. no swords either - this is an almost unconscious process, this writing, intelligence won't help. coins... what is that? time? the queen of time.

fear - ACE OF COINS! What da hack
this is meant to oppose the desire, 'tis what gets in the way
i don't want to start some kind of resource-consuming process...
sigh, it tru, this shouldn't feel like the start of a whole damn COIN PROCESS...

reaction - TWO OF COINS
frick
so many coins, shut up coins
so my inclination is to Do It All
...

RESPONSE? - the hierophant
hm. old fashioned ways, eh
I feel like im going to do some Normal Editing
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